if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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