he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
