i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
