Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
