it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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