Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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