try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize