I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
