Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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