Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i now understand why vodka
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
