My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize