More tranny stories later!
Please, let me fuck your mom
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
