I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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