I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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