Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
