and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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