Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
