dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
