I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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