Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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