he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
