Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
