I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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