haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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