I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
