im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You did what with his pubic hair?
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