Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
