i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize