Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
