$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
