My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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