Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
