There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
