Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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