$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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