No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
