cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
