thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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