Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
