I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
