i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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