There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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