she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
