so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
