jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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