i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Everything about him screamed your future.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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