Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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