Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
