shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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