I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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