so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
