Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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