I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
