i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
