All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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