JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
