Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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