So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
