you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
