just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
