he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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