my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
