Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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